Feminist Slampig to Star in Politically Correct Barbie Movie


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Cognizant of the media backlash they would likely receive for releasing a movie about an attractive white woman with a straight white boyfriend, Sony has reportedly decided to go a different direction for their upcoming “Barbie” movie. Rather than casting an attractive starlet for the title role “The Hollywood Reporter” is reporting that Amy Schumer will play the lead in what appears to be shaping up as a feminist retelling of “The Ugly Duckling.”

THR has released a description of the movie based on the popular girl’s toy which states the following: “The feature, with Schumer in the lead, will try to address those in a story that begins in a perfect land of Barbies where one woman slowly awakens to the fact that she doesn’t fit in. She is expelled from the idealistic land and journeys to the real world, where she discovers that being unique is an asset.” Schumer, who is best known for stealing jokes and making films unwatchable for men, will reportedly be rewriting the script with her sister.

Political correctness, the dominant religion of Hollywood in 2016, is about replacing the traditional understanding of something with its polar opposite. Therefore, the decision to cast a character historically defined by her feminine beauty with a crude hambeast like Schumer would appear to make perfect sense.

"Barbie" Is tentatively slated for released in May of 2017 but without an attached director this date is expected to be delayed.

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